Restricted Area.Keep Out.

I recently found a website where we can check the rating (aka censorship board stuff) of our blogs.

The programme is kinda cool though but may throw you off balance a little.

The programme rates your blog based on these following words.

hurt (4x)
shit (2x)
crap (1x)

The more of these words you have,the worse your blog's rating will be.

And thus,my blog rating is...

So,imagine if I would to type this sentence in:

"Today,I fell down on the floor,scratched my elbow a little and got a weeetle blood.I got HURT."

BAMMM!!!

Sigh.

So sad.I'm a restricted content.

Joyful day and a LOL

Wow.

I finally experienced my first time being in a church cell group.And man,was it fun.

The songs were great (although I'm not a Christian,still can enjoy good songs,right?) and there were lots of laughter and jokes with people I've just been acquainted with.

Got along just fine and met a lot of really friendly and funny friends.

And when I got home,something made me laugh even louder than during cell group meeting.

It was a bulletin post posted by a certain someone regarding a true boyfriend.

It's not that I do not agree with the points stated in the bulletin post but rather,the person who was posting it.Such a laugh and a half for her to even be able to judge a true boyfriend.

She probably wouldn't notice or appreciate that person if he was standing in front of her 24/7.

Oh God,I'm still rolling on the floor because of it.

Goodbye

It seems I had misjudge the person who was supposed to take the most important seat in my life.Not misjudged in a good way but instead,in a bad way.

All my love life,I thought that being in love with someone is to give everything you've got in the relationship.I guess maybe I was wrong.Maybe not all girls appreciate it.Or maybe it's just one person.

I always said that being in a relationship requires effort and hardwork.Was I right or maybe I was just dreaming.Just my imagination of what is required of a relationship?Is it based on things other than understanding,love,care and tolerance?

When a loved one isn't assured,do we need to reassure them of the relationship or just let them ponder as they wish and start arguing if what imagination we have isn't all pleasant?Some people just give up when things take a slope and starts to get boring.Instead of saying "we should work things out and try to carry on", they say "I think it's best for YOU to let go."Yes,YOU.How sure are people that your partner wants to let go just yet?Have we even tried our part enough to assume the other half had had enough of it?

It's so ironic.And especially a person who listens to God's words to have Faith and to Forgive and Forget.We hear it a lot but somehow,some people never practice it.What a shame to God to have to preach His words to people who do not bother to follow.

I'm sorry that I've touched on religion but I really find these words to be some of the most meaningful words in my heart.Especially when it comes to relationship.And there,are some people who wrote a blog post on Love before,without even exploring and knowing the true meaning of it.

If given love is not appreciated,I shall simply take it back and give it to someone else who needs,appreciate and would keep it forever.I apologise to those of you who tried to give me faith and who told me to hold on and not give up hope.And thanks to Samantha who told me to follow my heart,although now,this isn't what my heart really wants.

Goodbye to you.

Tears won't even flow.

The best song during the pain...

Keith Urban - Tonight I wanna cry

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and coulda been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I [have] never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
All by myself, [it] would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I [have] never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry




sigh.........

Emo emo emo....

Just yesterday, an old good friend of mine sent me an email. It was a touching story about how if you don't appreciate certain may-not-be-important-to-you-now person, he or she may just disappear one day and we would look back and regretted that we did not do anything while that person was still around.

Therefore, we have this word called appreciative or in chinese, we say "zen xi".

I find this word to be quite important to everyone because we all have something we love and cherish. But how far do we love and cherish it? How meaningful is this particular thing or person to you?

Some of us were borned with a silver spoon in our mouth and therefore, if something is lost, we would simply replace them. That is untrue for the lower class people. We have to cherish everything we have because everything is sweat and tears. And sometimes even burst blood vessels.

But take people for example. How much do you appreciate the people around you? The people that are in your life. Your loved ones and your family. What have you done for them that, if they ever leave, you would think you had actually done enough while they are around. These are the things we have to ask ourselves now and then. Had I done all I can? Had I gone out of my way to do something for that person? Did I ever push myself to do everything imaginable?

These are things only we ourselves can answer because it's not up to people to say what is enough. In this world, nothing is ever good enough for anyone anymore. But we are all human and we have our limits. But how far have we pushed that limit? God did not set a limit for us. We often limit ourselves. To give up is to lose everything. That is why some of us continued to push on although sometimes it's gone wasted. Like a motivational saying goes and I still find it quite true. "Reach for the sky and may you fall down to the clouds". We always say try our best. But how far is our best?

When we appreciate a relationship, we try to go the extra mile. How many of us are happy just to hear from our loved ones everyday? Would people even bother to ask and show concern if we do not have feelings for our other half? How far have you gone to make your loved ones happy? To make them smile and laugh. To brighten up their day. That is how we know how much the other person cherishes us. These are things where you don't even need to ask and is normally done willingly. It makes us feel safe and loved knowing someone cares and someone appreciates the things we do. Most of us aren't by our loved one's side 24/7 and so we always want to know what is going on in their part of life. We aren't psychic and therefore we can't read what the other person is thinking and doing. That's why we have to find out. It's totally different from checking out what you're doing because we aren't interrogating. We are just asking. We just want to know your side of plans. This way, it also shows we do not have anything to hide. Everything is clear and open.

There are boyfriends and girlfriends out there who do not bother about their loved ones. I've heard a lot of sad stories where friends do not hear from their loved ones even for the extent of a few days. It's really sad. If it's so, why do we even want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To pass the time? A leaping stone? Just to ensure we're dated every weekend? It's someone for us to love and receive love from. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, they always say. So if you want love and care, you have to give love and care as well. And the only way some of us do is to show our concerns and to be bothered about your loved ones.

Although sometimes it gets very routine, it's up to us to try to make it interesting. It's how we do it. Whether for ourselves or for our loved ones, we try. Days aren't always the same and there are certain things we can reveal.

Being in a relationship is a step above friends. That's why when people ask, we always say "can we take it a step higher?" Being with a loved one, we should be able to share more intimate things dat we may not share with friends. Personal agenda or even simple things like what went on while we aren't around. You could even rant if you need to. But all this would let us know that we are trusted and we know things that has happened. That is how much it means to us.

Just to get a message of "taken lunch already?" is also very comforting. To know that someone IS thinking of you. Loving you. Caring for you. Isn't that why we ask? If a loved one isn't at the top of our mind, then who are they to us really? Then you have to question if you really love that person. Some people tend to try so hard to get into a relationship. But after it succeeds, we tone down so much. Where's the enthusiasm? The spirit? The love? Things shouldn't tone down. It should get more and more interesting because this person is now closer to you. You should be able to say more things because that person won't mind anymore. That's how some people can maintain a relationship for so long up until they get married and grow old together.

Yes!! That is a long way. And it is possible. There are friends that can maintain a relationship for so long too. It's how they do it. It's a lot of tolerance, a massive amount of hardwork and effort on both sides to keep a huge ball rolling continuously. Once it starts, better keep a little effort everytime to ensure it doesn't stop. Then it would be easy. But once it starts to slow down and eventually stop, then the whole process has to be resetted. Sometimes with a different partner.

That's the way our parents stayed together for so long. They don't do it based on wishes and promises. Vows taken don't really mean anything without any continuous hardwork and effort. They actually worked on it. It's the only way and there are no shortcuts to it.

I remember there was a situation once in my household that almost forced my parents to break up. But they worked on it and now, happily ever after. It takes 2 hands to clap. One hand won't even make the slightest sound.

Therefore, we all have to be thankful to God to unite us with someone. Without Him, we would all be single til the day we die because it's not arranged for us to be. But if it can start, it should be able to go on. Stand by your loved one's side no matter what happens and always, always, always be thankful and appreciate the people in your life. Love is something strong if you believe in it.

You'll never know what you've lost until it's gone.

To make friends is to be a______..??

First of all,a big silent congratulations to my sis and CKK Cacing's sis for their good STPM results. Lazy to tell it to my sis in person. They did exceptionally well...at least for my sis though.

Anyways,back to the main topic.

Yes yes..I know. It's this topic again...*sighs*

I get so frustrated about people who still do not fully grasp the meaning of being a friend.

Just in case for those of you who did not check up the meaning of friends,here's a definition provided by Wikipedia..

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more humans.In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other.
• sympathy and empathy.
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth.
• mutual understanding.

Being a friend is being a person who understands the person who you are to befriend with. This in practice means you are able and willing to tolerate that person's behaviour;the flaws,the imperfections.If it can't be tolerated,then why bother being friends?

To have a friend is to be able to have someone to keep you from feeling lonely. To share all that is good and to wipe away all that is sad. To help when one is in need and to understand when that friend needs it.

People need friends more when they are down rather when they are joyous. And if a friend can't be a friend,why bother getting to know each other in the first place. Friends should hold no grudge and to forgive all that is forgivable unless it's a problem which is unforgivable,in which case,should have broken up the friendship.

I understand from my point of view that lots of my not-so-current 'friends' are not sufficiently being friends except for a few ppl. There's no sense of real friendship being with them. I don't know. Maybe I accidentally torched someone's house on fire when I was sleepwalking or maybe accidentally rammed into someone's car while being so drunk that I can't remember. Please tell me I did not do that...yet. Because as I know,I did not commit crimes nor any sins so great to be exiled from a group of people.

But in a way,I am tired,frustrated and had given up all hopes of changing myself. I don't find the need to HAVE to change myself. I am who I am and the world is round. I don't need to please people just to make friends. Maybe in the corporate world if I own my own business but not to make genuine friends. I just don't care about what people think anymore. To put it rudely,I don't give two Fs about other people's judgement of me. Only God is fit to judge me.

And don't think because of this attitude I would not have any friends. I have lifelong friends from my old school and even some new people I met recently. The most important people in my life now are my parents,my dear gf and my old friends and I'm done. They know me and they accept me for me. Non had asked me to change the way I am and why should I just to fit in somewhere?

Here are a few examples....

;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ better pray that i dun get hired this year
;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ then i can balik and yc with you
;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ didn't manage to do that like we said we're gonna last time

..or from a friend who's just broken up with her stupid ex-bf

GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ as long as u chat with me every time i online can ad.. keeps me company
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ u n lionel not bad..
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ willing to listen to my sadness
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ i felt better after talking to u

That's all for friends testimonial. Can't reveal the rest or they'll think funny and kill me.lol

Anyway,point proven. I am who I am and I do not hold grudges against anyone unless there's a major reason for me to. For example,my gf's ex or my friend's ex-bf. They deserve to have their heads smashed against a wall.

But for all the bad treatment,the exclusion from certain activities and the forgotten of my name,I hold no grudges. I can't be holding grudges everytime you all do these type of things. My head would be filled with this stupid,immature problem and I won't be able to concentrate on more important aspects of my life. It's up to you to take your own initiative to do things like this on your own because,'nuff said,I am fed up of changing and pleasing people.

I take the good if you give and I do not care about the bad I'm bound to receive.