Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Emo emo emo....

Just yesterday, an old good friend of mine sent me an email. It was a touching story about how if you don't appreciate certain may-not-be-important-to-you-now person, he or she may just disappear one day and we would look back and regretted that we did not do anything while that person was still around.

Therefore, we have this word called appreciative or in chinese, we say "zen xi".

I find this word to be quite important to everyone because we all have something we love and cherish. But how far do we love and cherish it? How meaningful is this particular thing or person to you?

Some of us were borned with a silver spoon in our mouth and therefore, if something is lost, we would simply replace them. That is untrue for the lower class people. We have to cherish everything we have because everything is sweat and tears. And sometimes even burst blood vessels.

But take people for example. How much do you appreciate the people around you? The people that are in your life. Your loved ones and your family. What have you done for them that, if they ever leave, you would think you had actually done enough while they are around. These are the things we have to ask ourselves now and then. Had I done all I can? Had I gone out of my way to do something for that person? Did I ever push myself to do everything imaginable?

These are things only we ourselves can answer because it's not up to people to say what is enough. In this world, nothing is ever good enough for anyone anymore. But we are all human and we have our limits. But how far have we pushed that limit? God did not set a limit for us. We often limit ourselves. To give up is to lose everything. That is why some of us continued to push on although sometimes it's gone wasted. Like a motivational saying goes and I still find it quite true. "Reach for the sky and may you fall down to the clouds". We always say try our best. But how far is our best?

When we appreciate a relationship, we try to go the extra mile. How many of us are happy just to hear from our loved ones everyday? Would people even bother to ask and show concern if we do not have feelings for our other half? How far have you gone to make your loved ones happy? To make them smile and laugh. To brighten up their day. That is how we know how much the other person cherishes us. These are things where you don't even need to ask and is normally done willingly. It makes us feel safe and loved knowing someone cares and someone appreciates the things we do. Most of us aren't by our loved one's side 24/7 and so we always want to know what is going on in their part of life. We aren't psychic and therefore we can't read what the other person is thinking and doing. That's why we have to find out. It's totally different from checking out what you're doing because we aren't interrogating. We are just asking. We just want to know your side of plans. This way, it also shows we do not have anything to hide. Everything is clear and open.

There are boyfriends and girlfriends out there who do not bother about their loved ones. I've heard a lot of sad stories where friends do not hear from their loved ones even for the extent of a few days. It's really sad. If it's so, why do we even want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To pass the time? A leaping stone? Just to ensure we're dated every weekend? It's someone for us to love and receive love from. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, they always say. So if you want love and care, you have to give love and care as well. And the only way some of us do is to show our concerns and to be bothered about your loved ones.

Although sometimes it gets very routine, it's up to us to try to make it interesting. It's how we do it. Whether for ourselves or for our loved ones, we try. Days aren't always the same and there are certain things we can reveal.

Being in a relationship is a step above friends. That's why when people ask, we always say "can we take it a step higher?" Being with a loved one, we should be able to share more intimate things dat we may not share with friends. Personal agenda or even simple things like what went on while we aren't around. You could even rant if you need to. But all this would let us know that we are trusted and we know things that has happened. That is how much it means to us.

Just to get a message of "taken lunch already?" is also very comforting. To know that someone IS thinking of you. Loving you. Caring for you. Isn't that why we ask? If a loved one isn't at the top of our mind, then who are they to us really? Then you have to question if you really love that person. Some people tend to try so hard to get into a relationship. But after it succeeds, we tone down so much. Where's the enthusiasm? The spirit? The love? Things shouldn't tone down. It should get more and more interesting because this person is now closer to you. You should be able to say more things because that person won't mind anymore. That's how some people can maintain a relationship for so long up until they get married and grow old together.

Yes!! That is a long way. And it is possible. There are friends that can maintain a relationship for so long too. It's how they do it. It's a lot of tolerance, a massive amount of hardwork and effort on both sides to keep a huge ball rolling continuously. Once it starts, better keep a little effort everytime to ensure it doesn't stop. Then it would be easy. But once it starts to slow down and eventually stop, then the whole process has to be resetted. Sometimes with a different partner.

That's the way our parents stayed together for so long. They don't do it based on wishes and promises. Vows taken don't really mean anything without any continuous hardwork and effort. They actually worked on it. It's the only way and there are no shortcuts to it.

I remember there was a situation once in my household that almost forced my parents to break up. But they worked on it and now, happily ever after. It takes 2 hands to clap. One hand won't even make the slightest sound.

Therefore, we all have to be thankful to God to unite us with someone. Without Him, we would all be single til the day we die because it's not arranged for us to be. But if it can start, it should be able to go on. Stand by your loved one's side no matter what happens and always, always, always be thankful and appreciate the people in your life. Love is something strong if you believe in it.

You'll never know what you've lost until it's gone.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well my friend, what i can say is no one is prefect. everyone will take advantage of people around them, may it be their friends, love one or even their family, we'll still take them for granted, and some times we don't even know it. also, i don't think you should be using the word "try". that's because you're not trying, you're infect showing how much you care by calling and sms-ing her just to ask her how's her day and all. and if you're only trying, then i'm sorry to say that it will never be enough. just ask yourself if you don't mind, since when trying is ever enough? if you're already doing your best in everything to keep the relationship going and she doesn't realize it, then screw it. don't get me wrong but, if she just can't tell how much she means to you and what you've done to keep the relationship going, then she doesn't deserve you at all, you deserve better man.

ThePinkRabbit said...

i agree that we have to keep working at a relationship after "getting the girl/guy"..because a relationship is not something u get into because everyone around u has a special someone..it's something u're in because u can't stand the thought of her/him being with anyone else...

love is hard work...it's not all fun and prancing in the sun...there are times when we annoy each other and want to bite each other's leg off...but if u really love that person, u would continue working at it...there's really no other way to get over a bump in the road...u don't give up after a few tries..u continue working ur way over it...

keep the ball rolling...for u might regret it if u let it stop...

but i also agree with anonymous up there...if she/he does not appreciate how much u're willing to do to save the relationship, then there's no point forcing her/him...u can only go so far...the rest is up to her/him...

Anonymous said...

5 words,
relationships are annoying an weird.
well, most of the time at least, the reason is simply because, it's never there when you want it, and when you've had enough of it, it'll always be there clinging on to you.
some times, we want to let go of it, cause it hurts, yet we're afraid of losing it. some times you just try and try and try to work things out, but it never seem enough.
the thing is, we should know when to call it quits, there are better girls/guy out there. if we just keep on working on something that's not gonna work, we might have pushed other peoples love away already, and god know's the last person who you turned your face from was suppose to be the one who will make you really happy for life. what i'm saying is, you have to learn to let go if nothing is improving between the two of you. be happy, make yourself happy and give yourself the chance to be with someone better

Chris Yuen said...

3rd comment a bit extreme...

agree with da 1st 2 le but askin to let go is a little hard,bro.it's because the love is too deep.even if we shake it,it's still stickin on.the level has gone too deep to let go on will.

anyway,if things can be worked out,there's no reason to giv up on it.i jus need to see that silver lining.