Resolution..

I just want you to know that I'm really sorry
If the unexpected turned up, it's my fault
I never meant to rob you of a good time
I just thought maybe if we tried harder it might turn out different
I guess not
I guess I just made it worse
And I just want you to knowI'm sorry

I really am

I finally got the truth to who's on the receiving end of this post on the class blog..

I'm sorry if you guys had to include me just so I'm not left out.I appreciate it a lot.And,I would just like to say sorry if I did ruin what was supposed to be a fun night out.To me,it was a fun night being with you guys.

Generally,I can tell that most of you aren't that fond of me being around you guys during your activities and such.Mostly is because of the way I act when I'm around you.So,here's where I give in to saying,that if I had ever offended you,I sincerely apologize.Especially to Ben,William and May whom I mostly criticise.Sorry if I made you feel embarrased or ridiculed.And my promise to you all,even people whom I've offended unnoticingly,that my behaviour would improve especially to those whom I'll be seeing for the next 2 years.

Maybe most of you,who discovered that you'll be in the same class with me,are currently feeling a little disappointed and unhappy.I understand if you feel that way towards me.That's after two kind souls who had approached me today to reveal to me what I've done to make them unhappy.Here's my weaknesses as told by those 2 kind souls..

1. Tapping on shoulders
2. Saying things which are factually untrue
3. Arguementative
4. Hot tempered

Well,these are true and I don't deny it.I'm sure some of you had told me about these before.And time and time again,I don't deny it either.But here,I would like to give some explanations and some guidelines on myself incase any of these were unavoidable.

1. I've gotten into the habit of tapping on people's shoulders which most of you find annoying.This habit came after I find that it's a much faster way to get someone's attention rather than calling them 10 or 20 times and yet they still don't answer.I will curb this annoying habit but from time to time,if I can't get your attention then I have no choice but to tap your shoulder or maybe just tap on your arm or something.

2. I know sometimes I tend to give the wrong fact.And it's not done on purpose.For example,I've watched the Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift trailer for 3 times already.A nice car in there was a 350Z.But when I told it to James while watching the trailer,I branded it as RX8 until William corrected my error.So,sometimes,this is done unconciously or maybe at that time,my brain was thinking that that fact was right.Everyone can get facts wrong because those are things which can't be changed but can be heard wrongly.

3. Sometimes I tend to argue on things which I think is right.But that doesn't mean that I don't listen to others.If point well said,then point taken.Sometimes maybe if you correct me,I may answer in a way which some may think that I'm ignoring.But I'm not.I have to register new facts so I won't ask the same question twice.

4. Yes,I am hot-tempered.But like Samantha had asked before and I had answered,I don't go around scolding people for no reason.Even if I'm in a bad mood,if anyone chats with me or makes a joke,I'll still laugh and chat along.My temper is not a loose gun which fires anything in sight.I don't release my anger or moodiness on anyone and I don't plan to either.

So,those are just things I would like to clear up.I'm not covering up for myself.There's a logical explanation for things I've done,both conciously and subconciously.And when I'm i college,that's the happiest time for me because I have loads of crazy and whacky friends to hang around and relieve stress.You people are the best there is and I'm happy everytime I go to college and meet you all.But at the end of the day,when I return home,there's still a feeling of loneliness that most of you are not that fond of me.But the next day,I'm cheerful again.

I don't ever think I have an upperhand or anything because I'm older or because I've gone to other colleges.Going to other colleges has given me a valuable experience.But when I'm here now,Ive met so many new and talented people whom are younger than me.I'm not afraid or ashamed to learn from people younger than me.In fact,I seriously respect Shidio Fai Fai Wan-ers Juliana,Sam Goh,Junn Tseng,Chin Hou,Shawn,May,Chrystal and many more because your work is simply fabulous and I know I have a lot to learn.Most of the time I hang around Junn Tseng and Chin Hou to learn from them,not because I'm gay.I try to develop myself with their help.

Changes I will try to make to myself.And like smoking,this is a habit which takes a lot of determination,will power and most importantly,time,to overcome.And I do need help from friends to remind me of things that I do wrong.Friends help one another and not just abandon them to find their own way and only come back once they're okay.If any of you still do consider me a friend,just do your part to help me and not put prejudice that I'm a loser or something.I'm already trying very hard,first to fit in to an art major after making a total 180degrees change from a science major and second,to change my character from a serious,boring person to someone which is easier to talk to.It's not easy but I'm still trying.I won't mind or scold anyone who corrects me or reminds me of things which I'm wrong.Most of the time,I won't doubt you,but I will,unfortunately,doubt myself first.

I have a feeling I'm already branded,"The First Person From CD055-1 To Be Forgotten In The Future."