Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows It But Me

Yeah
Wish I told her how I feel
Maybe she'd be here right now
But instead

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me

I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

Tomorrow morning I'll hit the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

Daily Juice

Dunno why, of all days which I don't have to work, I got up at 8am in the morning. Everyone knows I'm not a morning person. But I just got up........to the sound of someone's message ringing. Lol

Anyway, first agenda of the day was going around with Tim, Kevin and Johnston to look at some guitars at Uptown and Damansara area. I am soooo out of touch with the world of guitars. Can't really tell the difference between a good sounding guitar and a normal sounding guitar. But the guitars were so nice. *drool* But sadly, I'm on a budget. If not...........

Second agenda of the day was meeting up with Jennifer and her friends in Times Square. Haven't seen her for ages except for chatting with her online. And a rare occasion to catch her while she's down in KL. Spent the day with her and her girlfriends walking around while they shop. From Times Square til Pavilion. Oooh...my aching feet. Lol. Just kidding. And this is the first time I experience following real shopaholics.

They sweep across retail stores just as fast as a swarm of locusts across a corn field. Hahaha...so evil. Just kidding le.

Chris :Hmmm...this pants material looks like........
Jenn :Carpet?
Chris :Yea..sort of.
Jenn :Uh huh
Chris :So if someone wears this and sits and scoots around on a carpet, she can electrocute someone
Jenn :Lol.

See, I so good give you blue since you like that colour. Hahaha. For those who don't understand why I said "can electrocute someone", go study more science about creating static.

The last agenda for the day was going to Jogoya (it's Jogoya, pa. Not Gojoya) for my sister's early birthday dinner treat. It's a buffet style restaurant which serves mostly oriental but also some western cuisines. For the price (RM100+ per person) I'd say it's worth it. The selection of food would spoil you. Not to even mention their choices of desserts and ice cream. They give you Haagen Daz and Baskin Robbins, okay. Don't play play. Not some cheapo ice cream brand you can't even find. For those who are thinking of going for a buffet dinner, able and willing to spend to get good varieties and have not tried Jogoya at Starhill, it's high time you did. I used to like the buffet restaurant at Sunway Hotel. But after this, I found a new haven to commit the sin of gluttony. Lol.

So now, I'm tired and full. Perfect formula to sleep, eh.






Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............................

I don't feel like I wanna talk or think of you for the time being.

We never just talk things out. And when you have things you wanna spill out, you spill it to someone else. And I dunno what you're actually feeling or thinking.

I don't wanna cause you anymore unhappiness for now.

Sigh. Gonna need some people to keep me company for the time being. *ahem*

You know who you are. LOL

Thanks to those who gave me advise, tried comforting me and telling me things will be alright. Appreciate it a lot. Especially you, bro, who called me all the way from Aus.



Song Verse of the Day

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Wish I can play this song on a guitar now and let my emotions run free.

Strum it!!

For quite some time I've been meaning to get myself a new acoustic guitar and start learning how to play again. It always seems cool that most of the people around me can play it and I too want to be able to soothe myself with my own music.

It's been 7 years since I last played and learn so it's gonna be a little slow for me. My fingers are now stiff and no longer fast in switching chords. Hope someone can teach me how to play it again *nudges Tim and Johnston*

I've been speaking to someone who has lots of experience playing to give me suggestions for some low range, good quality guitar. I'm on a budget but I also require quality. Something within RM1500, maybe?

Here's some recommendation and some I found on my own (may not fit my budget but it sure looks cool)

Fender CD140SCE












Fender CD60SCE












Fender California Models Kingman SCE and Sonoran SCE












Epiphone AJ200SCE












Norman B20













I'm also partly doing this for someone.


Anyone else has any other recommendations or comments on these guitars? Do let me know.

Love Education

Love (according to the Oxford dictionary)
- warm liking or affection; sexual passion; loved person; (in games) no score; nil.

Love (according to Wikipedia)
- Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.
- The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

Love - from WikiAnswers
1. Love differs from heart to heart, love can be good and can be bad. To love and be loved is the perfect ingredients to happiness but to love and not be loved will be a darkness in your soul. Being in love is like a drop of water after years of drought, it eases your souls agonies of life. Being in love is a feeling not all humans will experience. So if you have it cherish...just love it.

2. Love has never been defined since man began, so we have to use our own hearts and minds to decide. Love isn't all about looking at a good looking woman/man and hearing fireworks go off all the time. That's usually physical attraction, but it's normal at the beginning of our relationship. Love is respect, wanting to help that person in any aspect of their lives; protect them from harm's way; knowing that each other will be there 100%; feeling safe with that person; proud of being with them; sharing your hopes and dreams together; and my favorite ... feeling like you can conquer the world together! Knowing you will be together no matter what and continue on until the day you pass away. Now that's love to me!

3. Well I'm only 15 but from my opinion of love I just look at my boyfriend and I as a perfect example. Well, sometimes we argue and fight but no matter what we always find some kind of way to make up. If you love someone then you trust them, you can count on them when you need them most. Fine things mean nothing but time means everything. You should be able to tell each other everything. If you never argue then that's not love. And there really is no true definition of love because everyone feels different about the person they love. You can't just speak for everyone because what I was reading didn't make since to me and this was coming from Adults. But like i said i use me and my boyfriend as the perfect example of love in my eyes. We broke up and went back together 7x in one year and we've been together for 2 years. Right now we having our differences but believe me we will talk about this and be okay again because no one or nothing is gonna come in our way of love and no one or nothing will ever separate us.

4. Love is opening up to a person enough for them to destroy you, while trusting completely that they will not. (me like this quote)




I think I need more education on the above mentioned subject. What should be said, what should be done, etc etc etc.

Would those of you who are more experienced in this leave your comment and educate me further? Even for things you think I MAY know.

But please don't go telling me to treat my baby like a slave. Ain't gonna happen.

So, go ahead. Leave your comments. Educate me, please.

ps. This is NOT a post for you to tell your grandfather grandmother stories about what happened to your bf or gf. It's to know what love means to different people. Til now, there is no one single definition.

Oh so BORED.

For this 2 days (Thursday & Friday) I will be and am extremely bored sitting in the office.

Although I get to play computer games on my laptop or listen to songs.

But that's not the point. My bosses and some of the staff are overseas in Bangkok and did not leave any instructions or things to be completed within these 2 days. So, I'm practically just sitting there the whole day, waiting for lunch hour to arrive and after lunch, waiting to go home.

Sigh.

Oh. And I get to blog from my office. But it's so early in the day and nothing has happened yet. What the hell am I going to blog about??

Maybe I should just sleep there. No CCTV cameras to capture the moment.



Oh, and about the blog name thing, I've been meaning to change it since.....I lost count. So now it has been changed. It has a new name and a new blog address. Those of you who had linked me and STILL wish to continue reading my blog, do update your link.

And congrats to you if you DID manage to get to this blog in the first place. LOL

For a long time I've liked Bon Jovi's songs. Their classic rock rocks (pardon the pun) and some of the songs are preppy and some hits me at the right spots.

Bon Jovi
"Open All Night"

I saw you coming from a mile away
Trying to hide behind that pretty face
Bet my last dollar baby you been bruised
Poor little heart all black 'n' blue

Last thing you need's another pickup line
You must have heard them all a thousand times
God only knows what you been through
Believe me I've been broken too

It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away
I've been around that block a time or two

[Chorus:]
Baby, I don't want to fall in love with you
I try, try, try but I can't get around the truth
Please don't say my name, give this heart a break
I don't want to make the same mistake but it's too late
I'll leave on the light
These arms are open all night

I got your taste in the back of my mouth
I want to reach in and pull it out
And I'd be lying if I didn't say
When you're this close I'm afraid
Of the way I'll feel if I touch your hair
The way I'll miss you when you're not there
And that I'll see you when I close my eyes
It's too late, I've crossed that line

It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away
I'll still be around come closing time

[Chorus:]

[Guitar solo]

It's 2 am, it's last call, baby.
The barkeep's gone, I'll walk you home now
Save me, baby

[Chorus:]



"You Had Me From Hello"

At the mirror you fix your hair and put your makeup on
You're insecure about what clothes to wear
I can't see nothing wrong

To me you look so beautiful when you can't make up your mind
It's half past eight, it's getting late
It's OK, take your time

Standing here my hands in my pockets
Like I have a thousand times
Thinking back it took one breath
One word to change my life

[Chorus:]
The first time I saw you it felt like coming home
If I never told you I just want you to know
You had me from hello

When we walk into a crowded room it's like we're all alone
Everybody tries to kidnap your attention
You just smile and steal the show
You come to me and take my hand
We start dancin' slow
You put your lips up to my ear and whisper way down low

[Chorus:]

And when you're laying down beside me
I feel your heartbeat to remind me...

[Chorus:]

From hello
From hello



I'm extremely bored now. Waiting for lunch only. LOL

Jonas Brothers
"When You Look Me In The Eyes"

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,I
can hold my head up high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever.
I just gotta let you know,
I never wanna let you go.

When you look me in the eyes.
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh




I'm so bored at work.

I said I love you

I don't know why but no matter how many times I listen to this song, I still don't get tired of it.

It isn't anything great and it's just slow and not really singing.


I Said I Love You

Baby come to me
I will chase your tears away
Put your trust in me
Girl I swear Ill never change
Darling you will see
That my love is here to stay
I promise you, I will be true
From here and now, forever girl I

I said I love you
I said I care
When I tell you I love you
It means I always will be there
Ill never leave you
I ain't going nowhere
When I tell you I love you
Cross my heart I will be there

Open up your heart
Don't be afraid to love again
We can take it slow
You should know I understand
Baby take your time
And I don't care how long it takes
cause I promise you, I'm here for you
From here and now, forever girl I

Chorus

And I will be there
(and I will be there for you)
Forever sincere to you
(girl I'll always care for you)
I just wanna share my life with you
Right here, right now, forever girl I




Oh. And I'm blogging from work. LOL

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you.....the new blog post of 2008!

*audience clap* *cuts red string*




Remember the last time i said "finally back to blogging"?

Well,I'm going to say the same again now. It's kinda good to be back. A place for me to throw my inner feelings.

The last time I blogged was earlier this year and it's been 6 months now. As usual, lots of things happened along the way and there were ups and downs.

First of, my 'actual' years of being in TOA has finally ended. The sad part is, I still have a term and a subject to complete to obtain my diploma. sigh. Now I think i regret dropping the subject. But I didn't expect something.

Secondly, I got a job right after graduation exhibition. A company called me up for an interview and I got the job. That was the unexpected something. So now I'm dividing my time between studying and working.

Third, attended my first Church Camp at Fraser's Pine Resort. Had a fun time there and a good fellowship with my church members since I don't really know a lot of them yet. It was mostly wet up there and it's not as cold as I expected unless I got wet when it rains.

Finally back to blogging

Wow.It's been another long spell of laying off from blogging.

And boy do I have a lot of grandfather stories to write about.LOL

The New Year has just arrived and I bid farewell to a bitter 2007.And since it will be long,I think I'll just summarize the whole year's events in points.


1. Got into a relationship

2. Came out of a relationship

3. Excited about last year of college

4. Celebrated 21st birthday in TGI Fridays for the first time and I have to forget the memory

5. Started going for church cell and eventually service

6. Baptized in the spirit and found God's love

7. Rekindled with old friends a lot

8. Excited that Lionel has returned from Australia on holiday

9. Sakai-ed a lot with friends during the holidays

10. Found new friends

11. Celebrated Christmas for the 1st time with Christ in my heart

12. Attended a youth camp for the 1st time and it was awesome

13. Celebrated new year's eve countdown by not counting down for the 1st time

14. Watched movie during new year's eve countdown

15. Stressed out brain from college work

16. Found a hilarious comedian ventriloquist named Jeff Dunham

17. Gained weight (FINAAAALLLLIIIII!!!)

18. Had someone to celebrate Valentines with after about 4 years.


This would be the basic things that had happened during the past year.Some sweet memories and some bitter.Some meant to be kept and some forgotten.But mostly,there were loads of good memories which will be treasured for many years to come.

The best of all memories would be accepting Christ as my personal saviour.I've learned of God's love for men when He gave His only son.And as for why I accepted Christ,that's another long and deep story.But I'm glad I did and had not regretted it.

The highlight of the past year would mostly be being with friends.They're there when I need them and even when I don't need them,they're still there by my side.Those are true friends.Ones you can't buy with money and they're irreplaceable.

Therefore,not much regrets on my part for the past year and I hope the new year would be filled with new beginnings and new directions and new aims.

It kicks off with a camping trip organized by the Fifty Five Batch in college and I'm supposed to be resting now.LOL.Screw it.I sleep late always.

Til the next time I blog.

Restricted Area.Keep Out.

I recently found a website where we can check the rating (aka censorship board stuff) of our blogs.

The programme is kinda cool though but may throw you off balance a little.

The programme rates your blog based on these following words.

hurt (4x)
shit (2x)
crap (1x)

The more of these words you have,the worse your blog's rating will be.

And thus,my blog rating is...

So,imagine if I would to type this sentence in:

"Today,I fell down on the floor,scratched my elbow a little and got a weeetle blood.I got HURT."

BAMMM!!!

Sigh.

So sad.I'm a restricted content.

Joyful day and a LOL

Wow.

I finally experienced my first time being in a church cell group.And man,was it fun.

The songs were great (although I'm not a Christian,still can enjoy good songs,right?) and there were lots of laughter and jokes with people I've just been acquainted with.

Got along just fine and met a lot of really friendly and funny friends.

And when I got home,something made me laugh even louder than during cell group meeting.

It was a bulletin post posted by a certain someone regarding a true boyfriend.

It's not that I do not agree with the points stated in the bulletin post but rather,the person who was posting it.Such a laugh and a half for her to even be able to judge a true boyfriend.

She probably wouldn't notice or appreciate that person if he was standing in front of her 24/7.

Oh God,I'm still rolling on the floor because of it.

Goodbye

It seems I had misjudge the person who was supposed to take the most important seat in my life.Not misjudged in a good way but instead,in a bad way.

All my love life,I thought that being in love with someone is to give everything you've got in the relationship.I guess maybe I was wrong.Maybe not all girls appreciate it.Or maybe it's just one person.

I always said that being in a relationship requires effort and hardwork.Was I right or maybe I was just dreaming.Just my imagination of what is required of a relationship?Is it based on things other than understanding,love,care and tolerance?

When a loved one isn't assured,do we need to reassure them of the relationship or just let them ponder as they wish and start arguing if what imagination we have isn't all pleasant?Some people just give up when things take a slope and starts to get boring.Instead of saying "we should work things out and try to carry on", they say "I think it's best for YOU to let go."Yes,YOU.How sure are people that your partner wants to let go just yet?Have we even tried our part enough to assume the other half had had enough of it?

It's so ironic.And especially a person who listens to God's words to have Faith and to Forgive and Forget.We hear it a lot but somehow,some people never practice it.What a shame to God to have to preach His words to people who do not bother to follow.

I'm sorry that I've touched on religion but I really find these words to be some of the most meaningful words in my heart.Especially when it comes to relationship.And there,are some people who wrote a blog post on Love before,without even exploring and knowing the true meaning of it.

If given love is not appreciated,I shall simply take it back and give it to someone else who needs,appreciate and would keep it forever.I apologise to those of you who tried to give me faith and who told me to hold on and not give up hope.And thanks to Samantha who told me to follow my heart,although now,this isn't what my heart really wants.

Goodbye to you.

Tears won't even flow.

The best song during the pain...

Keith Urban - Tonight I wanna cry

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and coulda been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I [have] never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
All by myself, [it] would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I [have] never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry




sigh.........

Emo emo emo....

Just yesterday, an old good friend of mine sent me an email. It was a touching story about how if you don't appreciate certain may-not-be-important-to-you-now person, he or she may just disappear one day and we would look back and regretted that we did not do anything while that person was still around.

Therefore, we have this word called appreciative or in chinese, we say "zen xi".

I find this word to be quite important to everyone because we all have something we love and cherish. But how far do we love and cherish it? How meaningful is this particular thing or person to you?

Some of us were borned with a silver spoon in our mouth and therefore, if something is lost, we would simply replace them. That is untrue for the lower class people. We have to cherish everything we have because everything is sweat and tears. And sometimes even burst blood vessels.

But take people for example. How much do you appreciate the people around you? The people that are in your life. Your loved ones and your family. What have you done for them that, if they ever leave, you would think you had actually done enough while they are around. These are the things we have to ask ourselves now and then. Had I done all I can? Had I gone out of my way to do something for that person? Did I ever push myself to do everything imaginable?

These are things only we ourselves can answer because it's not up to people to say what is enough. In this world, nothing is ever good enough for anyone anymore. But we are all human and we have our limits. But how far have we pushed that limit? God did not set a limit for us. We often limit ourselves. To give up is to lose everything. That is why some of us continued to push on although sometimes it's gone wasted. Like a motivational saying goes and I still find it quite true. "Reach for the sky and may you fall down to the clouds". We always say try our best. But how far is our best?

When we appreciate a relationship, we try to go the extra mile. How many of us are happy just to hear from our loved ones everyday? Would people even bother to ask and show concern if we do not have feelings for our other half? How far have you gone to make your loved ones happy? To make them smile and laugh. To brighten up their day. That is how we know how much the other person cherishes us. These are things where you don't even need to ask and is normally done willingly. It makes us feel safe and loved knowing someone cares and someone appreciates the things we do. Most of us aren't by our loved one's side 24/7 and so we always want to know what is going on in their part of life. We aren't psychic and therefore we can't read what the other person is thinking and doing. That's why we have to find out. It's totally different from checking out what you're doing because we aren't interrogating. We are just asking. We just want to know your side of plans. This way, it also shows we do not have anything to hide. Everything is clear and open.

There are boyfriends and girlfriends out there who do not bother about their loved ones. I've heard a lot of sad stories where friends do not hear from their loved ones even for the extent of a few days. It's really sad. If it's so, why do we even want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To pass the time? A leaping stone? Just to ensure we're dated every weekend? It's someone for us to love and receive love from. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, they always say. So if you want love and care, you have to give love and care as well. And the only way some of us do is to show our concerns and to be bothered about your loved ones.

Although sometimes it gets very routine, it's up to us to try to make it interesting. It's how we do it. Whether for ourselves or for our loved ones, we try. Days aren't always the same and there are certain things we can reveal.

Being in a relationship is a step above friends. That's why when people ask, we always say "can we take it a step higher?" Being with a loved one, we should be able to share more intimate things dat we may not share with friends. Personal agenda or even simple things like what went on while we aren't around. You could even rant if you need to. But all this would let us know that we are trusted and we know things that has happened. That is how much it means to us.

Just to get a message of "taken lunch already?" is also very comforting. To know that someone IS thinking of you. Loving you. Caring for you. Isn't that why we ask? If a loved one isn't at the top of our mind, then who are they to us really? Then you have to question if you really love that person. Some people tend to try so hard to get into a relationship. But after it succeeds, we tone down so much. Where's the enthusiasm? The spirit? The love? Things shouldn't tone down. It should get more and more interesting because this person is now closer to you. You should be able to say more things because that person won't mind anymore. That's how some people can maintain a relationship for so long up until they get married and grow old together.

Yes!! That is a long way. And it is possible. There are friends that can maintain a relationship for so long too. It's how they do it. It's a lot of tolerance, a massive amount of hardwork and effort on both sides to keep a huge ball rolling continuously. Once it starts, better keep a little effort everytime to ensure it doesn't stop. Then it would be easy. But once it starts to slow down and eventually stop, then the whole process has to be resetted. Sometimes with a different partner.

That's the way our parents stayed together for so long. They don't do it based on wishes and promises. Vows taken don't really mean anything without any continuous hardwork and effort. They actually worked on it. It's the only way and there are no shortcuts to it.

I remember there was a situation once in my household that almost forced my parents to break up. But they worked on it and now, happily ever after. It takes 2 hands to clap. One hand won't even make the slightest sound.

Therefore, we all have to be thankful to God to unite us with someone. Without Him, we would all be single til the day we die because it's not arranged for us to be. But if it can start, it should be able to go on. Stand by your loved one's side no matter what happens and always, always, always be thankful and appreciate the people in your life. Love is something strong if you believe in it.

You'll never know what you've lost until it's gone.

To make friends is to be a______..??

First of all,a big silent congratulations to my sis and CKK Cacing's sis for their good STPM results. Lazy to tell it to my sis in person. They did exceptionally well...at least for my sis though.

Anyways,back to the main topic.

Yes yes..I know. It's this topic again...*sighs*

I get so frustrated about people who still do not fully grasp the meaning of being a friend.

Just in case for those of you who did not check up the meaning of friends,here's a definition provided by Wikipedia..

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more humans.In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other.
• sympathy and empathy.
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth.
• mutual understanding.

Being a friend is being a person who understands the person who you are to befriend with. This in practice means you are able and willing to tolerate that person's behaviour;the flaws,the imperfections.If it can't be tolerated,then why bother being friends?

To have a friend is to be able to have someone to keep you from feeling lonely. To share all that is good and to wipe away all that is sad. To help when one is in need and to understand when that friend needs it.

People need friends more when they are down rather when they are joyous. And if a friend can't be a friend,why bother getting to know each other in the first place. Friends should hold no grudge and to forgive all that is forgivable unless it's a problem which is unforgivable,in which case,should have broken up the friendship.

I understand from my point of view that lots of my not-so-current 'friends' are not sufficiently being friends except for a few ppl. There's no sense of real friendship being with them. I don't know. Maybe I accidentally torched someone's house on fire when I was sleepwalking or maybe accidentally rammed into someone's car while being so drunk that I can't remember. Please tell me I did not do that...yet. Because as I know,I did not commit crimes nor any sins so great to be exiled from a group of people.

But in a way,I am tired,frustrated and had given up all hopes of changing myself. I don't find the need to HAVE to change myself. I am who I am and the world is round. I don't need to please people just to make friends. Maybe in the corporate world if I own my own business but not to make genuine friends. I just don't care about what people think anymore. To put it rudely,I don't give two Fs about other people's judgement of me. Only God is fit to judge me.

And don't think because of this attitude I would not have any friends. I have lifelong friends from my old school and even some new people I met recently. The most important people in my life now are my parents,my dear gf and my old friends and I'm done. They know me and they accept me for me. Non had asked me to change the way I am and why should I just to fit in somewhere?

Here are a few examples....

;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ better pray that i dun get hired this year
;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ then i can balik and yc with you
;p LioNeL ;p welcome to crew FU @_chris_@ didn't manage to do that like we said we're gonna last time

..or from a friend who's just broken up with her stupid ex-bf

GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ as long as u chat with me every time i online can ad.. keeps me company
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ u n lionel not bad..
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ willing to listen to my sadness
GTS~u can lie to everythin but u cant lie to ur HEART @_chris_@ i felt better after talking to u

That's all for friends testimonial. Can't reveal the rest or they'll think funny and kill me.lol

Anyway,point proven. I am who I am and I do not hold grudges against anyone unless there's a major reason for me to. For example,my gf's ex or my friend's ex-bf. They deserve to have their heads smashed against a wall.

But for all the bad treatment,the exclusion from certain activities and the forgotten of my name,I hold no grudges. I can't be holding grudges everytime you all do these type of things. My head would be filled with this stupid,immature problem and I won't be able to concentrate on more important aspects of my life. It's up to you to take your own initiative to do things like this on your own because,'nuff said,I am fed up of changing and pleasing people.

I take the good if you give and I do not care about the bad I'm bound to receive.

So pissed off right now...

I had just finished watching a video provided by Junn Tseng about how slaughtered animals are treated.And I have to say that I wish I could be a vegetarian right now.

The video shows how they actually slaughter animals such as chickens,cows,pigs,calves and even turkeys. Most of these meat are the kinds that we eat almost everyday.

These animals are tortured and slained brutally.Some are tagged with hot iron over and over again although the fucking owner's initial is still embedded in the animal's skin CLEARLY.

Speaking as a person who can't survive a day without meat,I can't say that everyone should be a vegetarian.Since I'll be doing on animal cruelty in my Moral presentation,it wouldn't hurt to treat the slaughter animals well in hopes of producing better meat and increase productivity.Not shove a few hundred thousands of animals at one go and in hopes some would survive for the slaughter.

This is really inhumane.What are we,humans with rational thoughts or barbarians who don't give a shit if you're fucking your own mother???

Everything deserves to be treated well eventhough it's for consumption.

And get this.The USDA,which approves of the meat which are safe for eating and for export ion the US,approves of cows which are cancerous for consumption.WTF?? Want people to get cancer also izit??

These are outrageous issues.Not only is the method of slaughter unstopped or unbudded,the meat produced from these diseased and injured animals are fed to us.Who knows if we had consumed any cancerous cows or disfigures chickens or pigs.

Lesson here is,do not trust any meat bearing the symbol of USDA approved.It's a bloody fake.They'll approve shit.And we are the ones who will suffer in the long term.At least our country enforces more control on animal slaughtering partly because of some Muslim ruling which are sensitive to certain ways of slaughtering animals.It all has to be approved both by DVS and JAKIM in order to protect the halal status and the proper management of slaughterhouses.

Be wary of the meat you eat,people.It could be fatal.

Feeling drained

Everyone knows that sleep is the most important part of our daily life (and if you're a pig,THAT is your life)

And everyone's clear that when we sleep,our subconcious takes over,pulls it's dictator ruling crap on our brain and rules til concious comes back and kicks it's butt in the morning.

Subconcious gives us dreams which may seem real when we sleep and our brain continues to function based on what we see in these dreams.Sleep is when our body needs to recharge after a long day's function to prepare for the next day.

Well,one faithful night,my subconcious got a little tulan with me and decided to play with my brain's weekness.

I was having my beauty sleep,hoping for a good dream to conjure when I blurly remember having to do straneous excercises while running through obstacle in my dream.I remember having to run,jump and climb these obstacles until I finally woke up in the morning.

I felt more tired than before I went to sleep.

Dammit.

Accumulations

I feel my passion in blogging is slowly disappearing nowadays.I mean,I'm not as active as I used to be and mostly,I fill my blog either once in a blue moon or often with junk.

This will be one of those "once in a blue moon" post.

Many things happen over the past weeks (or months,I'm not counting).

Term break came and went in a matter of seconds.We suffered for 3 gruelling months and all we receive is a petty 2 weeks leave.WITH ASSIGNMENT.Come on.It's not even enough for us to enjoy it to get us back in the mood to do more work.But we always find our time for leisure and pleasure.

Went on a KL trip with the guys of CD055-1 - Sam,James,Will,Ben,JT and Cal.Strut around Times Square,Sungai Wang,BB Plaza and KLCC in search of figures and comics.And in Sam's case,advertising references as well.Went over to KLCC for dinner and a movie - Monster House.Had supper later at a hawker centre where they entertain the older customers with live performances of oldies songs in mandarin,hokkien and whateverelse they can actually sing.

Completed my Gundam Astray figurine bought during the Kl trip within 4 hours.RM40 is completed.

Rushed figures on Sunday to be handed in on Monday morning but still managed to finish 8 in a day.My personal record.I'll never do figures like that EVER again.

Crikey.Steve Irwin recently passed away,killed by a killer stingray which had sworn to take revenge for it's reptilian machas who were frequently harassed by Stevey.

Seriously.He died after being stabbed by the stingray's barb tail.The guy who brought you The Crocodile Hunter is killed by a stingray instead.He was a good presenter and a passionate environmentalist (taken from news statement).

Discovered that Jason Lo is a dedicated image maker of Malaysia.His song Old Newspaper is a fine example of songs which will easily be recognised as being "Malaysian" with a strong "Malaysian identity".Cries of "old newspaper,paper lama..sau kau pou chi,sou jiu pao che" can only be heard in no other than good ol' noisy Malaysian residential area.

And hey,if that's not Malaysia,then I don't know what is.

History

Recently,I've just purchased CivCity Rome and was quite addicted to it.Finished off half of the the game in 3 days.

I like these type of games which links back to the Roman or Greek history - their way of life,their ARMY,economics and etc..

I've always been excited about these people because of their superiority in the early science,math,politics and warfare in comparison to our dull history in school about how we suck up to the colonials to try to gain independence without war.

Well,the Romans and Greeks didn't need to gain independence.They controlled it.For all the Greeks power,the Romans still proved superior by conquering their neighbours.Everything we learn now-maths and science,letters and numbers-we get from these people.Not some guy named Parameswara we had to learn so much of in Form1.

Sure he's the founder of Melaka,but who the hell gives a damn??We should be learning from the superiors rather than the idiot who ran away from his own land.

Anyway,back to our topic..

Rome..

Known for it's army.Imagine.These people had formations,perfected the catapult way before US was even a founded and know how to make steam spas.They could provide piped water and structure magnificent architectures when most of the world still lived in jungles and down by the river.

Back to their armies.

They were almost no different from Malaysia in size.Also started from a peninsula and relied on their science and military to conquer.In fact,if we add East Malaysia,we have a bigger country than the current Italy peninsula.We just suck in superiority.

What caused Rome to shrink was the falling apart within their own country and not conquerors.

So,does anyone want to know the amount of soldiers or legionaries within Rome's walls.Only Rome and not their conquered lands.

Well,since you're here,stay for a minute.

Here's the equation..

80 soldiers/legionaries = 1 Century
59 Centuries = 1 Legion
Each Century has 1 Centurion = 59 Centurions in 1 Legion

There are 30 Legions in Rome itself ->

Therefore,Rome itself has a total of 143370 soldiers.

Can you imagine if they all had guns and planned to conquer Malaysia??

OMG

ULTRAMEN ARE IN TOWN!!!

This is a video from my sister's batch for their Form 5 "Riddance" Night..aka Majlis Perpisahan Tingkatan 5.

This video is about a group of guys dancing to funny moves which is taken from comics such as Dragonball,Ultraman and other funny actions.

Just couldn't get enough of the antics.



Anybody recognise it??

Hassles and hassles..

Wonder why I seldom blog these days,huh??

Do you?? Do you??

I'll tell you why...

It's this problem I have with Blogspot which refuses to load.Everytime I enter my account,the "create new post" screen takes forever and a day to load.

This kinda makes me fed up about blogging eventhough there's things to share and show.

I'm just lucky it didn't try to screw up today.

stupidblogofgoddamnnonsense
imsickandfedupbyit
hassleshasslesandmorehassles
thatsallimgoingtosaytoday
gooddayandgoodnight
sayonaraarigatogozaimas
kthxbai

SAKAI-S..

My old friends over at TAR College recently did a video about students studying in Universiti Putra Malaysia.

He personally sent me this video uploaded to Youtube.

After watching this video,I suddenly felt a rain of rage which I normally do not have against the Malay race.Well,I still don't to those around me but surely felt a strong anger towards these hooligans in UPM.

My friends went there to do some research for college but were treated with hostility by the Malay students there.

Some shouted,shoved and made monkeys out of the Chinese students who went there for a cause.

Is this how Uni students should act?? This is a freakin disgrace to our nation and especially,a big disgrace to the Malay people.

These people hovered around the TARC students as if those students came to challenge the Uni.Anyone who is anyone would be terrified even to fight back because this is not dealing with one or just 2 people.The whole college seems to be on your war path as if you've thrown a freakin pig at their main gates and a Malay guy stepped on it's poo.

The point is,people,especially Chinese,has had their misconceptions about the Malay people and society has tried so hard to abolish that mindset.But this people in the video is just making things worse.

In the video,they were shouting "BELAKANG" to the TARC students for no apparent reason and making it look as if they have the control of the campus.My friend and his group tried to calm the students in order for their project to take place and I pity his efforts.Things just got worse.



I gotta get me an A-bomb.

End of it..

The time while I'm typing this post is 5am.

And the result for the FIFA World Cup Germany 2006 is finally in.

As a lot of people had supported,the Azzuris have won the World Cup of 2006 after drawing 1-1 in normal time and extra time.Italy have won 5-3 on the penalty shootout.


The Italians held off a fighting French team to seal the victory in a penalty shootout.

France took the lead after 7 minutes through a Zidane penalty only to be shut off by Marco Matterazi's header.Italy almost took the lead later on in the first half when Luca Toni's header from Andrea Pirlo's corner hit the crossbar just above Fabien Barthez's head.

The second half saw a rather resistant Italy and France battle for midfield supremacy.The match took a sudden turn when Zinedine Zidane headbutted Matterazi and was sent off by the referee.

At the end of regulation time and extra time,the score was still tied at 1-1 and the game went into penalties.

France was in trouble for not having 2 of their penalty taker when Thierry Henry was substituted and Zidane sent off.Italy however had all their set piece takers.

Both goalkeepers didn't make any saves but it was unfortunate for David Trezeguet who hit the bottom of the crossbar but the ball didn't cross the line and bounced out.In the end,it was Grosso who netted the final penalty to win Italy the biggest title in football.

It was good to watch another World Cup match live as it happens.

Problem now is,I haven't gotten my sleep throughout the night yet.

Mama mia..

Into the fever..

Well,as everyone knows it,it's been football fever for the past month because of the World Cup taking place in Germany.

We've seen numerous actions on the pitch by some of the world's best players.All battling it out for the coveted World Cup trophy.

There were tears of joy and of despair as they watch their teams triumph or walk out beaten.

There were also shock as giant teams such as Germany,England,Brazil and Netherlands bow out early.

After weeks of battle,it all comes down to this: Italy vs France

This may well be the battle of giants in this world cup as both teams has done magnificently well to set up this clash.

Italy stun the host by beating them 2-0 in extra time to reach the finals as France defeated an unlucky Portugal and champions Brazil to reach this stage of the World Cup.

Italy,led by Fabio Cannavaro,arguably the best defender in the world,looks to steer the Italian team to success.Teamed up with Gianluigi Buffon,Matterazi,Zambrotta and Grosso,Italy have one of the best defense team-up in the World Cup,having only conceded a goal in the whole tournament so far.Francesco Totti,Italy's best attacking midfielder,alongside Camoranesi,Pirlo,Gattuso or even Simone Perrotta,will no doubt be providing the breakthrough for strikers Luca Toni and Gilardino or even Alessandro Del Piero.The Italians is one of the worlds most talented team of players but in previous years,has failed to link up,much like the current England squad.

On the other side of the ring,we have the dominant French players.Led to battle by captain Zinedine Zidane,the French team looked tough and determined as compared to the same team that competed in the 2002 World Cup.The French defense led by Lilian Thuram,formed a formidable fortress together with Fabien Barthez,Willy Sagnol,Eric Abidal and Claude Makelele.Zidane's trickery would be followed up in midfield by Patrick Vierra,Sylvian Wiltord,Florent Malouda and Franck Ribery.It would be up to Thierry Henry to provide the finishing needed by France.Franck Ribery has repaid Raymond Domenech's faith in him by being one the key players in France's attacking power.

This 2 teams has produced world class performances with their skills and brilliant tactics to reach this stage of the World Cup.

I personally had supported England to be contenders for this World Cup after seeing the line up in the team.Great players such as Gary Neville,John Terry,Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole should and had provided a solid enough defense for England together with Paul Robinson.It was the midfielders who had actually let the team down.David Beckham had a quiet game and was only useful during those free kicks and corners situations.Steven Gerrard and Joe Cole were solid providers but were inconsistent.Frank Lampard who scored 8 goals for Chelsea,couldn't even find the net once after trying for more than 30 times.Hargreaves proved to be useful for the defense but not offense.Rooney isn't at his best because of lack of fitness and Crouch,who seems to get more fouls than goals,proved to be useless.

Right now,I hope for Italy to triumph in this competition but it's really hard to say.Both teams have equal depth and cutting edges.The winner would undoubtly be The world class team.

I wonder when will THIS team ever reach??

*sigh*

Never again..

What was supposed to be a fun day out turned into a disaster for me.

We had a steamboat party at Ashe's house in Cheras today which kicked off at around 7sumthin pm.

All the food were excellent and we had a game of Twister after that.The fun of seeing everyone tangled up trying to place their anatomy in the right color dots.

We left Ashe's at around 1am.

As I got out of Taman Connaught and on to the MRR2,I overtook James' Terrano and accelerated faster.I think I reached more than 100km/h on the highway.

I was driving on the 3rd lane when i saw a blockade in front and had to brake hard to stop and cut in front of another car.When I reached,the police officer there instructed me to pull over.And so I did.Another officer walked up and told me I was speeding.

Of course I tried denying.He then went over to ask another officer for my clocked speed.Apparently,I was doing 112km/h on a 80km/h stretch.I was stunned.Isn't the limit 110km/h on the highways? 80km/h how to jalan??

The officer gave me a ticket and told me he had set a court date for 29th of August.

Court? What the..??

I asked whether do I reeeeaaaally have to go to court and he said yes.Apparently,the MRR2 is an Accident Zone and every summon has to go thru the Majistret Court.

I told him this was my first offence and asked if there was "anything he could do about it".

He just coldly shook his head.There and then I knew,I'm screwed.

Came home and told my dad who wasn't asleep yet at around 2am.He was totally pissed off but didn't want to talk about it yet.He did mention that it's coming out of my allowance though.

It really was my fault for speeding in the first place.No one could force me to speed except myself.It's just that,I was already coming home at a very late time after being bugged by my parents to come home by 12am.If I knew,I should've just be late and get my self in warm water instead of being late and getting a ticket to turn that warm water to full,overheated steam.

Lesson is,don't speed anywhere after the second toll booth from Subang.

I'm supposed to go sleep now because it was a direct order from my dad to keep himself from f**king me up.

Headache la..

I got this from our class blog regarding the incident of a school girl being attacked by,well,...other girls.

http://www.malaysiakini.tv/podcast/fight/

It seems she was attacked over something she allegedly said to someone else.The sound wasn't really that clear so I could only understand part of the arguement.

Now,my question is,what is this country coming to?

By the looks of the bitches in this video,they looks like some sort of "tai kar che"s trying to stamp their authority on others.Screaming and shouting around.Even after the "attackie" denied saying things,the attack continued.

Worse of all,there were guys looking like gangsta-wannabe lala chais standing there looking at the incident taking place and not do anything about it.

There were pushing,slapping and hair-pulling action taking place and no one said anything to resolve it by talking or worse comes to worse,scolding.

I've seen many gangsters,tai kors and tai kar ches during my schooling times and I almost basically hang around them,be it chinese or indian gangs.Most of them were my friends but none of this nonsense had ever taken place.Subang gangsters are more of the "friendly" type,although things could get pretty ugly at times of gang-fights.The problem is,gang-fights is different from a simple arguement.For small matters,no one ever gets hurt.

Back to these bitches in the video.If you've watched it,one bitch could even go up and smile at the camera while doing some stupid lala pose.

If this was happening to my friends,it would be the attacker instead of the attackie who will be going home with a black eye,a bruised rib and maybe a fractured skull.

Try being in a gang-fight and come out alive.Then you can consider yourself a gangster.If not,you're still just a goddamned,fucking lala chai or lala mui gangsta-wannabe.

Yes I am angry at these people who think being a gangster is fun.

Gangster,my ass.

Some Say..

Hey people..today's 20062006 and most of us in class didn't even notice it.Well,I was also blur about it til I was wished via SMS.

Anyway,that's not why I'm here.Here's some funny stuffs for you people to read.I got this from my email from a friend and thought I'd share it with you guys and gals.


* ROMANCE MATHEMATICS*
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________


* OFFICE ARITHMETIC *
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________


*SHOPPING MATH *
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. _____________________________


* GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS *
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________


* HAPPINESS *
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________


*LONGEVITY*
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________


* PROPENSITY TO CHANGE *
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________


*DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE *
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________


* HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED *
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Wasn't that fun and quite true?? Give it a thought.

Sweat,Determination,Perseverence

Imagine yourself standing in front of about 80,000 people and having to perform.Imagine yourself being paid 50,000pounds per week to do something you like to do since you were young.Imagine your picture and name constantly being mentioned in a column in the newspaper.

That's the life of a football player.

Some people might ask,what's so nice about football that drives guys crazy about staying up til 2-3am in the morning just to watch a live match??This question is like asking,why did you buy a ticket to go watch a match?It's that feeling of being able to be there when it happens no matter what timezone you're in.

Watching worldclass players performing their magic to thrill and excite their fans from all corners of the globe.Legs shifting from side to side whilst maintaining the football within control of the player.Opponents being dazed by the trickery of light-footed players.Players sliding all over the pitch just to snatch the football out of their opponent's grasp.Watching football's finest as they run through 2 opponents and score a powerful effort.Seeing amazing shots unleashed from 25 yards to baffle and stun worldclass goalkeepers.The great saves and dives to deny some of the best goal-poachers of our century.Watching players with great amount of determination and stamina race down a 120 yard field for 45 minutes non stop to bring his team glory and fame.Gasp at the accuracy of a simple lob or a long range effort.Feel the control as the player keeps the ball off the ground with his feet while still in motion.Seeing these players using their head for more than one purpose.

Unbelievable?? Believe it..

That's football to the uninitiated.

And football doesn't only attract the masculine gender.Lots and lots of females are also into football nowadays.Some endulge in it for the good-looking or muscular players.Others enjoy the game as much as their male counterparts.Football is one of the sports which unites the world.Anyone in any country can support the same team regardless of ethnicity and language.

And I now present to you a short clip of some of football's finest moves..

Resolution..

I just want you to know that I'm really sorry
If the unexpected turned up, it's my fault
I never meant to rob you of a good time
I just thought maybe if we tried harder it might turn out different
I guess not
I guess I just made it worse
And I just want you to knowI'm sorry

I really am

I finally got the truth to who's on the receiving end of this post on the class blog..

I'm sorry if you guys had to include me just so I'm not left out.I appreciate it a lot.And,I would just like to say sorry if I did ruin what was supposed to be a fun night out.To me,it was a fun night being with you guys.

Generally,I can tell that most of you aren't that fond of me being around you guys during your activities and such.Mostly is because of the way I act when I'm around you.So,here's where I give in to saying,that if I had ever offended you,I sincerely apologize.Especially to Ben,William and May whom I mostly criticise.Sorry if I made you feel embarrased or ridiculed.And my promise to you all,even people whom I've offended unnoticingly,that my behaviour would improve especially to those whom I'll be seeing for the next 2 years.

Maybe most of you,who discovered that you'll be in the same class with me,are currently feeling a little disappointed and unhappy.I understand if you feel that way towards me.That's after two kind souls who had approached me today to reveal to me what I've done to make them unhappy.Here's my weaknesses as told by those 2 kind souls..

1. Tapping on shoulders
2. Saying things which are factually untrue
3. Arguementative
4. Hot tempered

Well,these are true and I don't deny it.I'm sure some of you had told me about these before.And time and time again,I don't deny it either.But here,I would like to give some explanations and some guidelines on myself incase any of these were unavoidable.

1. I've gotten into the habit of tapping on people's shoulders which most of you find annoying.This habit came after I find that it's a much faster way to get someone's attention rather than calling them 10 or 20 times and yet they still don't answer.I will curb this annoying habit but from time to time,if I can't get your attention then I have no choice but to tap your shoulder or maybe just tap on your arm or something.

2. I know sometimes I tend to give the wrong fact.And it's not done on purpose.For example,I've watched the Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift trailer for 3 times already.A nice car in there was a 350Z.But when I told it to James while watching the trailer,I branded it as RX8 until William corrected my error.So,sometimes,this is done unconciously or maybe at that time,my brain was thinking that that fact was right.Everyone can get facts wrong because those are things which can't be changed but can be heard wrongly.

3. Sometimes I tend to argue on things which I think is right.But that doesn't mean that I don't listen to others.If point well said,then point taken.Sometimes maybe if you correct me,I may answer in a way which some may think that I'm ignoring.But I'm not.I have to register new facts so I won't ask the same question twice.

4. Yes,I am hot-tempered.But like Samantha had asked before and I had answered,I don't go around scolding people for no reason.Even if I'm in a bad mood,if anyone chats with me or makes a joke,I'll still laugh and chat along.My temper is not a loose gun which fires anything in sight.I don't release my anger or moodiness on anyone and I don't plan to either.

So,those are just things I would like to clear up.I'm not covering up for myself.There's a logical explanation for things I've done,both conciously and subconciously.And when I'm i college,that's the happiest time for me because I have loads of crazy and whacky friends to hang around and relieve stress.You people are the best there is and I'm happy everytime I go to college and meet you all.But at the end of the day,when I return home,there's still a feeling of loneliness that most of you are not that fond of me.But the next day,I'm cheerful again.

I don't ever think I have an upperhand or anything because I'm older or because I've gone to other colleges.Going to other colleges has given me a valuable experience.But when I'm here now,Ive met so many new and talented people whom are younger than me.I'm not afraid or ashamed to learn from people younger than me.In fact,I seriously respect Shidio Fai Fai Wan-ers Juliana,Sam Goh,Junn Tseng,Chin Hou,Shawn,May,Chrystal and many more because your work is simply fabulous and I know I have a lot to learn.Most of the time I hang around Junn Tseng and Chin Hou to learn from them,not because I'm gay.I try to develop myself with their help.

Changes I will try to make to myself.And like smoking,this is a habit which takes a lot of determination,will power and most importantly,time,to overcome.And I do need help from friends to remind me of things that I do wrong.Friends help one another and not just abandon them to find their own way and only come back once they're okay.If any of you still do consider me a friend,just do your part to help me and not put prejudice that I'm a loser or something.I'm already trying very hard,first to fit in to an art major after making a total 180degrees change from a science major and second,to change my character from a serious,boring person to someone which is easier to talk to.It's not easy but I'm still trying.I won't mind or scold anyone who corrects me or reminds me of things which I'm wrong.Most of the time,I won't doubt you,but I will,unfortunately,doubt myself first.

I have a feeling I'm already branded,"The First Person From CD055-1 To Be Forgotten In The Future."

Malaysia..Boleh

Ever wonder why some people like to break the rules for the sake of breaking it??Well,that was the content Juliana's group's Malaysian Studies final project entitled Malaysia Boleh.

This people disobey the law because they find it fun??Or maybe they just couldn't read,I don't know.If don't know how to read,balik sekolah lerr..

There was a classic example of this sort of behaviour while I was in PD.

Observe as this people are happily fishing..


















When we have a sign clearly stating..



















Some people just don't read..

HOLIDAY!!!

Well,this is gonna be one of those "where-I've-gone-to" post.And like Shawn,I don't intend to write about every bit of details of this trip.

No point telling grandfather grandmother stories.A picture says a thousand words.

CD055-1 presents......


















"A CD055-1 CLASS TRIP"


















Bunking in at James' place the day before

















In Sam Goh's car with Sam Goh,Shawn,Li Sian (pic,right),Junn Tseng (pic,left),Cal and Chin Hou.

















The 3-bedroom apartment.


















A trip to PD's pasar malam for food


















A fun game of charades on the first night.But,what's with Ben's hand???

Celebration time

This post was meant to be up a few weeks back..

Time has come for me to turn 20..

That's 2 decades of life celebrated..

Saying that makes my mum feel old..

But it's good to know I lived this long and am continuing on in hopes of reaching the 3rd decade.

Things you hear..

Ever had that kind of a day when you hear a repetition of the same word.It just goes on over and over again.

Todays special word is..

MAY!!!

Try making up and answering any question using May's name.

Today we had our TVC proposal pitching presentation.I freaking messed the whole presentation up.I believe this is the worst presentation that I had ever given throughout my 3 terms in TOA.

Sigh...

Can't expect anything since I prepared my pitching speech at 5am this morning and didn't have anytime to practice.Even the flash cards failed tremendously in providing aid to my speech.If things didn't get any worse,I didn't even start on my perspective project yet.

I think our perspective lecturer was pissed off today after he found out that majority of the class didn't even complete 50% of the final art piece.He just left the class and did not come back after that.

In Shidio Fai Fai Wan,you see all sorts of crazy stuffs.There's games going around where the answer is May's name,competition to see who could double-step on the classroom wall and even a competition to see who's head can create a freakin hole on the ceiling board.

Ben was the winner in the final event.

Thinking of my assignments due this week is depressing me.

SIGH!!!

Of games and spastic people..

Ever wonder why shopping complexes and supermarkets reserved some special spots for disabled drivers to park? Well,it's mainly for convenience.This "special" parking spaces are especially wider than your average space to allow disabled people enough room to get out of their car and do whatever they need to do to go around.

But somehow,there are certain idiots out there who do not know the use of the disable parking space.Maybe they think they're mentally handicapped or something,I don't know.

I went to Carrefour,Subang Jaya today with my parents to purchase some groceries.My dad parked in front of a length of space reserved for disabled people (for those in Subang who don't know,it's on the 2nd floor of Carrefour,which is the parking area).

In front of our car were not one,but three complete jackasses who were parked in the disabled space.And me without my trusty digicam again.

I don't know if these people are mentally handicapped or just plain assholes.That's the only level which has a disable parking space so that the disabled do not have to go so many levels up.And those three cars had just occupied it.What if there's really a disabled person on their journey there??

These people get on my nerves.

Next to test my patience was a game which I had just purchased today.I've been meaning to play this game for so long.














It's called The Movies for those who can't read.

It's about running your own movie studio and making your own films.

The game looks interesting so I thought I'd purchase this game from Sunway Pyramid.I went home eager to load this game and start making films.

After following every instructions given,I tried playing the game.The result,one Lionhead Studios logo,one Activision logo,One Pentium Extreme logo,one ATI Radeon logo and back to my windows screen.

WTF!!! #*$*#$&*#&*&#$ !!!!!

What the hell happened to the game??? I thought it was my mistake during the installation process.So,I uninstalled and installed it again.The result was still the same.

I tried more than 10 times trying to get it to work but to no avail.I tried finding the fault in the files but couldn't find anything wrong.

All that eagerness and excitement gone to waste.I swear never to buy my games from Sunway's IT Centre again.It's always the same old result.

*&$#*$#*&$#*&$&#*#$&*!!!!!